Weekend Musings

Hope everyone had a good weekend. I guess I could say mine was okay. Nowadays, any day I can get through without uncontrollable crying, aka meltdowns, I consider a good day. I've spent the evening watching "Pretty Woman" . Yes I've seen it before; probably dozens of times. I could no doubt recite it word for word. As with most things, there are favorite moments.

You know how there are things we wish we could do, wish we could be? That's my favorite moment in this movie. Remember when Vivian (Julia Roberts) walks through the hotel lobby after shopping and everyone stops to watch her? I wish I could have that effect on people. The same thing happens when she and Richard Gere are on their way to the opera and she is wearing that beautiful red dress. Of course, people who elicit such a reaction like Anderson Cooper probably hate it; consider it intrusive, annoying, and embarrassing. However, for people like me and my mom who grew up feeling invisible it's a different story. Mom always described herself as having mousy brown hair, being shy and quiet, as opposed to her older, popular, outgoing sister with her long, blonde hair, brown eyes, and adventurous nature. She was the one who always came home from school with her long hair blowing in the wind, carrying her boots, and toting a stray puppy begging incessantly, "can I keep him, can I keep him?"

Growing up as the mousy one, I should know the importance of compliments. This is why I can't understand my careless omission a week or so before Christmas. I came downstairs to find Mom sitting in her recliner with a book in her lap and a cup of tea and remnants of breakfast on the table near her. I stopped and stared at the scarf around her neck. It was a small, white chiffon scarf secured with a small, costume jewelry Christmas pin. It was a Santa Claus on skis holding the two sides of the scarf together. It looked really nice and was something different that she hadn't worn before. I stood in front of her staring at it and thinking how nice it looked. But I never said a word. She probably thought I was staring and thinking it didn't look right or thinking "why is she wearing my pin"? She couldn't read my mind and wouldn't know I thought it looked really nice. Why didn't I tell her? For someone who doesn't get compliments all the time, they are important. I should know this! Why didn't I say something?

Now it's too late. She's gone and I can't go back. I can't make it right. I can't change it. How often do we hear that life is short and we should make sure we say the important things?  We need to tell people how we feel? Yet we still ignore this sage advice and go on as usual. Why?

Holiday Letdown

Did you ever notice what a letdown you get after the holidays? You go from a house full of people, laughing, playing games, Christmas music in the background to liven things up, to virtual silence. The bright and happy home goes straight too doom, gloom, and quiet as a morgue. It’s really unsettling. What’s even more amazing is how fast you go from being energetic and getting things done, to feeling tired and lazy and lucky if you manage to change out of your robe.

I really miss Christmas when it’s over, although I don’t declare it over until at least Greek Christmas. I had a great Christmas this year so it will be even harder to let it go. When most people are taking their tree down and packing everything away, I’m dragging out extra ornaments to fill in the empty places that were missed the first time around.

I’ve realized over the years that Christmas is a process, a journey. Each year you strive to get everything down and have everything perfect. It’s like they say in the Constitution “…. Strive for a more perfect union.” That’s how I look at the holiday, striving for a more perfect Christmas. Some day it will be perfect; someday I will get everything done in time. The presents will be wrapped ahead of time and I won’t be up till after midnight wrapping. I will wrap as I buy the gifts throughout the year and will have time to make my own bows and wrap with creativity, imagination, and individuality. I will be organized enough so that I can make my fruitcake right after Thanksgiving and have time enough to bake all the cookies I want. Every room in the house will be decorated as well as the outside.

I’m sure you’ve realized by now that none of this happened this year. I was wrapping after midnight, the manger wasn’t lit, the carolers beside the manger weren’t plugged in and one didn’t even have a working bulb. The bells weren’t hung around the porch because we couldn’t get every one to twinkle and blew the fuses in the house five times trying to get them all lit. After the fifth fuse the bells were returned to their storage box and my brother gave up. However, it was a very merry Christmas and I had loads of fun, laughter, and tender loving moments. I didn’t want my family to go back home and didn’t want the holidays to end.

They always say you should appreciate the good things while you have them. I do appreciate that I was blessed with such a wonderful holiday, the trouble is that no matter how much you appreciate it, it stills saddens you when it’s over and it doesn’t make it last longer.