Saturday, May 07, 2011

Mother's Day

To all of you out there who have had the pleasure and honor of having children of your own, I sincerely wish you had a very Happy Mother's Day. To everyone else, I hope you took the time and spent the day with your Mom and enjoyed the love that equals no other. There is no love as special as the love you receive from your mom.

My mom was an old fashioned, wait on your kids hand and foot, cup of tea and homemade cookies Mom. Actually, it was homemade everything. In the winter we came home from school to a cup of hot tea and homemade sweets, or a bowl of hot, homemade soup. In the hot months we were greeted with a cold drink and some type of special baked goods. Our next door neighbor after moving away, always asked the same question whenever she ran into us in town, "does your mother still bake everyday?" Being typical kids, we looked at her with a confused look on our faces. We never gave a thought to her baking everyday. It was there and we ate it. We didn't stop to think where it came from or whether or not others lived the same way. We took it for granted.

I don't think we ever got our own meals or even snacks. The closest I came was grabbing something leftover from dinner that was sitting out on the counter. Mom always woke us up in the morning with a cup of tea and slice of toast before school. We never went to bed without being presented with a cup of tea and bedtime snack. Supper was always a homemade multiple course feast: meat, potatoes, vegetable, salad and dessert. Yes, I know what you're thinking. We were spoiled rotten. We knew it and I think we appreciated it. She was always there for us and with us. We never came home from school to find an empty house. If we did, we knew she wasn't far. She would be at Mrs. Minitti's who lived in the other half of our house. The only difference that made was that our afterschool snack was served by her instead of mom. At the time I didn't realize it, but now I believe she was my surrogate grandmother. My grandma died years before I was born. However, I feel like I know her anyway. Mom talked about her constantly. Growing up we heard little stories and examples of things she would say and do. After a lifetime of listening to Mom talk about her, it's not surprising that I should feel like I know her. I also realize they were very much alike. They were both great mothers and I only wish I will get the chance to be a mother someday and hope I can be as good as they were.

Anderson tweeted that he saw his Mom on Mother's Day and that he also thought about those without their moms. I thought that was sweet of him to say that. He mentioned that Father's Day makes him sad and he seems to realize that the same applies to those of us who have lost our moms. Every day is difficult and sad without your mom, but holidays are even worse.

Wednesday, April 20, 2011

Historic Week

It's been a long time since I've blogged for a multitude of reasons. The two main reasons are that my computer crashed and I did as well. I didn't have the motivation or the energy to get my computer fixed and frankly, the same applied to me. For anyone who is new here, I lost my mom a little over a year ago. She had a stroke at Christmas and I still haven't recovered. I know, I know, I should be over it by now. I've been informed of that many times now by many people. Despite that fact, the pain and sorrow hasn't just disappeared and I'm still feeling abandoned and devastated. There are days I don't think I can survive the sadness. Hence, the lack of blog postings.

On a less personal note, as Anderson said on Friday "this has been an historical week." At first I thought the capture and killing of Osama bin Laden seemed anti-climactic. Good news by all means, but still. As more details came out the story became more interesting and Anderson's compelling coverage made you feel more connected. However, once one remembered those who lost loved ones and realizing Osama's demise did nothing to ease their pain and certainly wouldn't bring back those that were lost. The gaping hole in their hearts will not heal. They will forever miss their moms, dads, brothers, sisters, husbands, wives, friends, neighbors, and co-workers. Long after everyone else is over the sadness and have gone on with their lives, these people will still have to live with the enduring pain of a life without their loved ones.

Anderson said one time that the worst part of losing someone is after all the people have come to the funeral and gone home. When life is supposed to be back to normal. I totally agree. As the months go by the pain remains and sometimes seems like it gets worse. Unfortunately, this is the time everyone assumes you are supposed to be over it and get on with your life. You can't share you sadness with anyone because they believe you should be over it by now and that you're okay. You have to keep it to yourself that you're not okay and there are days when you don't think you can live through the sadness. In novels you often see the phrase "heavy heart". I always wondered what that meant. I decided it was just an eloquent little phrase; chalk it up to poetic license. Now I know it is a very real feeling and is to be taken quite literally. It feels like a cement block in your chest. It hurts to breathe, it hurts to think, it just hurts. I don't now if there is anything that can really help. It would be nice though if you could have someone to share it with and find out if anything helps. Until then, you hide your pain and try pretending that everything is fine.

I've always wondered how Anderson has gotten through the pain of losing loved ones. I guess I will never know since emails are never answered. On the other hand, I'm probably right and the pain will never go away and he doesn't have the heart to tell me straight out. If no one says it, maybe you can hang on to a thread of hope that someday things will get better and the pain will ease, if only a little bit!

Thursday, May 20, 2010

Okay, Everybody say "awwww"!

Okay, I know that's a strange title but if you watched AC360 tonight you'll no doubt understand and agree. Wasn't the Shot one of the best ever? It was indescribably adorable; such a cute little critter. Those of you who are loyal and long time viewers of 360 will surely remember Anderson holding a sloth in the Planet in Peril program. It was a sweet picture. The little critter looked like he was in heaven! (Can't say I blame him!) He was holding on to Anderson's t-shirt with his little paws and looked like he wanted to stay there forever. Of course, he was getting a back rub so it's no wonder he was so contented. We then got bonus footage of the slow bouris getting tickled. That is one of my favorite shots. Like Breanna said, "that's ecstasy right there". Thanks Anderson; great way to end the show and go to bed with a smile.

There was serious and important stuff on the show as well. However, during this time I can't handle bad news. I'm having enough trouble just existing and living day to day and handling the normal everyday problems and chores. Trying to live through grief , feeling sad and depressed, I can't find words to describe the creep who preyed on depressed people who were contemplating suicide. He went online and encouraged these people to go ahead and commit suicide, going so far as to tell them how. Worse yet, he may not even be punished. To be honest, I don't think there is a punishment in existence which matches his crime. Thank God for the initiative of the British woman who caught on to him and pursued it and contacted the police.

Time to go and enjoy tonight's program. Have to relish Thursdays since we won't have live Anderson tomorrow night. I'm really starting to hate weekends!

Wednesday, May 12, 2010

Weekend Musing - a day late!

It's now 3:00 AM. For at least three years now I've been staying up and watching AC360. Sometimes it is not such a good idea, watching something upsetting or sad right before going to sleep. Other times it is helpful when Anderson does something funny, lighthearted, or ends the show with a giggle and a "goodnight or see you tomorrow". I read tonight on another blog that there.

I will miss the live AC360. You never knew what was going to happen. Sometimes the give and take between Anderson and whoever did the bulletin would take a strange turn and something humorous would come out of it. Taped versions are too perfect and you lose the spontaneity that brings out the best in Anderson.

Sometimes I wish I had the power some other blogs seem to have. They didn't like the live two hours and after constantly complaining, CNN took away the second hour and went to a repeat. They are complaining again about the stories and now more changes are coming. Wouldn't it be nice if all of us were listened to so intently and people rushed to do our bidding?

I have always thought highly of AC 360, the show and the man. His big heart and compassion, his intelligence and quick wit, and his genuine caring for those less fortunate add a touch of humanity to the show that no other news program possesses. I hope they don't change too much and that they don't go away. Through all the hardships that have touched my life lately, I can't describe how much his stories have helped me by showing me that things could be worse and others all over the world are suffering too. I hope I will be lucky enough to meet the man someday and sit in the studio audience.

Until next time, God Bless!